Соловей » 12-06, 14:17
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Subtitles: kin-dza-dza.org.ru
Based on the subtitles by
SadGeezer & NewKate
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Subtitles: kin-dza-dza.org.ru
Editor in chief:
Durtz
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Subtitles: kin-dza-dza.org.ru
Translators: Nightingale (ta JD),
Karabister, Cactus of Alpha
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The Creative Union
of Comedy and Musical Films
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presents
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Kin-Dza-Dza!
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Stanislav LYUBSHIN
as Mashkov
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Evgeni LEONOV
as Wef
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Yuri YAKOVLEV
as Bee
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and introducing
Levan GABRIADZE
as Gedevan
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Screenplay
Revaz GABRIADZE
Georgi DANELIA
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Director
Georgi DANELIA
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Cinematography
Pavel LEBESHEV
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Production Design
Alexander SAMULEKIN
Theodor TEZHIK
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Original Music
Gia KANCHELI
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Sound
Yekaterina POPOVA-EVANS
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Assistant Director &
Special Effects Supervisor
Sergei KHRAMTSOV
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Second Unit Directors:
Leonid BITZ
Karen GEVORKIAN
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Co-starring
Anatoli SIRENKO
as the Barefoot Wanderer
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Irina SHMELYOVA
as Tsan, the cart driver
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Galina DANELIA-YURKOVA
as Mashkov's wife
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Alexander LITOVKIN
as Gor, the gang leader
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Lev PERFILOV
as Kyrr, the dissident
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Tatiana NOVITSKAYA
as Lady Tinai
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Special Appearance of
Olga MASHNAYA
as Ms Dekont
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...and Georgi DANELIA
as Abradox
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Thanks to all members
of kin-dza-dza.org.ru
community,
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especially
Andy Hurwitz, Vitaly Koissin...
...and Google
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KIN-DZA-DZA!
Part One
30
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Hi
31
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Hi
32
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(Lucy: )
What's new?
33
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(Mashkov: )
Manokhin's had pipes burst
at his building site
34
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(song on TV: )
"...Mama, mama,
what shall I do?"
35
00:02:37,830 --> 00:02:40,147
"How will I manage
when winter comes?"
36
00:02:40,474 --> 00:02:42,620
"I have got
no winter coat."
37
00:02:42,991 --> 00:02:45,350
"I have got
no winter hat..."
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(Mashkov: )
How's our honor student?
39
00:02:53,946 --> 00:02:55,457
(Lucy: )
He's out somewhere...
40
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Vova, can you fetch some bread?
I forgot.
41
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And get some macaroni, OK?
42
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Comrade,
43
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a man there says
he's from another planet...
44
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we have to do something!
45
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- Call the ambulance.
46
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- I will... but he's almost barefoot -
he'll catch a cold.
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- Hello!
- Hello.
48
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Excuse my bad smell.
49
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It's cold.
I took this from that metal chest.
50
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Well done.
51
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Friend!
52
00:03:43,299 --> 00:03:45,859
Can you tell me your planet number
in the Tenture?
53
00:03:45,979 --> 00:03:48,631
Or at least your galaxy number
in the Spiral?
54
00:03:48,883 --> 00:03:52,617
I've got the contacts mixed up
and now I can't get home.
55
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We don't know the number,
my friend.
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We forgot it.
57
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Now, this lad will call
the information office,
58
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and we'll wait for him together
in the bakery, OK?
59
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,481
Here, put this on.
60
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Thank you...
61
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Listen, friends.
62
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There's no need for the bakery,
no need for information.
63
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This is my planet...
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Uzm, 247 in the Tenture,
Beta galaxy in the Spiral.
65
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This is my space transfer machine...
66
00:04:24,179 --> 00:04:28,007
So, which contact do I press
to transfer home?
67
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You do understand
the time is relative, don't you?
68
00:04:31,427 --> 00:04:32,749
OK, I have a proposition.
69
00:04:32,869 --> 00:04:34,972
We'll just press a contact...
70
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...and transfer to your place.
71
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But if the machine doesn't work,
72
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then you transfer with us
to where we transfer you, OK?
73
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No, you can't just press it!..
You have to know...
74
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Sure I can, my friend.
75
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And YOU... what can you see?
Eh?
76
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(Gedevan: )
Sand...
77
00:05:11,775 --> 00:05:14,827
So that stupid gadget worked...
78
00:05:18,162 --> 00:05:22,596
And that jerk with the holes,
was he left behind?
79
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Calm down... calm down...
80
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There's the sun, there's sand,
there's gravity.
81
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So where are we?
We're on Earth. Or...
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(Gedevan: )
Or?
83
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No, let's take it we're on Earth,
in some desert... Eh?
84
00:05:42,962 --> 00:05:47,068
The Karakum?
What other deserts do we have?
85
00:05:47,322 --> 00:05:48,575
(Gedevan: )
Gobi, Sahara...
86
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No, I said WE have!
87
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We have also the Kyzyl-Kum.
88
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No. Let's take it that it's
the Karakum.
89
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OK?
So that means...
90
00:06:02,097 --> 00:06:05,737
The sun's to the west...
so, Ashkhabad is this way.
91
00:06:06,164 --> 00:06:08,765
Got it?
Let's go!
92
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Come on... let's go!
93
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Comrade,
94
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what's your name?
95
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Vladimir Nikolaevich.
96
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My name is Gedevan.
97
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Pleased to meet you...
98
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You have a bottle in your case,
is it wine?
99
00:07:14,176 --> 00:07:17,493
No, it's vinegar.
100
00:07:20,949 --> 00:07:24,483
I also have some herbs -
kindza.
('coriander' in Georgian)
101
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Oh... We're all set then.
102
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Vladimir Nikolaevich,
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do you remember
the number he mentioned,
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the guy who took my sock?
105
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No.
106
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Maybe we're on the planet
he came from?
107
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Listen, Fiddler!
108
00:07:47,028 --> 00:07:49,842
Whatever we guess,
it won’t change a damn thing!
109
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The direction is chosen.
Just go!
110
00:07:53,620 --> 00:07:57,430
The key is to get to the water.
Got it?
111
00:08:01,175 --> 00:08:03,967
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
I want to change into slippers.
112
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Well, do it!
113
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Then WAIT!
114
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What's the time?
115
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Four.
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In the morning?
117
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Yes...
118
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(Mashkov: )
Getting late?
119
00:08:31,085 --> 00:08:33,998
It's quite awkward...
I phoned from the airport,
120
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said I'd be in an hour...
121
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and here we are...
122
00:08:37,380 --> 00:08:39,274
You study music?
123
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:43,599
(Gedevan: )
No, it's not mine.
Professor Rogozin’s one.
124
00:08:44,275 --> 00:08:48,523
He gave a concert in my hometown.
After, they forgot to put
125
00:08:48,643 --> 00:08:49,914
the violin on the plane.
126
00:08:50,506 --> 00:08:51,546
A banquet?
127
00:08:51,666 --> 00:08:52,784
No, just a dinner...
128
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:55,469
Aha.
Are you from Tbilisi?
129
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,037
(Gedevan: )
No, Batumi.
130
00:08:58,590 --> 00:09:01,974
I thought I'd return the violin,
and still have time to catch the train.
131
00:09:02,094 --> 00:09:04,930
I study in Textile Institute in Ivanovo.
132
00:09:05,324 --> 00:09:06,178
Aha...
133
00:09:06,298 --> 00:09:10,377
First, I wanted to study in MGIMO,
the institute of international relations,
134
00:09:10,596 --> 00:09:12,392
but they said...
135
00:09:12,705 --> 00:09:13,745
Quiet!...
136
00:10:09,939 --> 00:10:11,588
- Koo!
137
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:13,909
- A man...
138
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- Koo!
139
00:10:17,990 --> 00:10:20,750
- Koo.
- Hello...
140
00:10:33,519 --> 00:10:34,995
- Koo!
141
00:10:36,557 --> 00:10:38,302
It's a capitalist country.
142
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:49,833
(Two men are singing: )
Koo! Koo! Koo! Wuuuu!!!
143
00:10:58,657 --> 00:11:00,606
Gedevan! Do you speak
any foreign languages?
144
00:11:00,726 --> 00:11:03,267
English. A little French.
145
00:11:03,776 --> 00:11:05,944
Tell them we have no money...
146
00:11:08,758 --> 00:11:10,765
Tell them!
They want to be paid!
147
00:11:10,885 --> 00:11:16,009
(Gedevan - in English: )
Gentlemen, sorry!
We haven't money... now!
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00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:27,448
- Koo?!
149
00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:36,649
Hello!
150
00:11:37,427 --> 00:11:40,201
We are Soviet tourists.
We lost our group.
151
00:11:40,536 --> 00:11:44,413
Take us to the nearest city,
and then we'll manage by ourselves...
152
00:11:44,533 --> 00:11:45,606
...Translate, Fiddler.
153
00:11:45,726 --> 00:11:47,794
(Gedevan - in English: )
Do you speak English?
154
00:11:48,248 --> 00:11:49,256
(The stranger: ) – Koo?
155
00:11:50,471 --> 00:11:52,540
- Parlez-francais?
- Koo...
156
00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:54,920
Hi!
157
00:11:56,256 --> 00:11:57,824
Do you speak English?
158
00:11:58,536 --> 00:12:00,058
Parlez-francais?
159
00:12:03,218 --> 00:12:04,839
...Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
160
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:07,478
- Koo!
161
00:12:13,973 --> 00:12:15,057
Chatl!
162
00:12:17,774 --> 00:12:19,197
No money...
163
00:12:19,317 --> 00:12:23,467
money, passports, dollars...
everything's left with the tour guide.
164
00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:25,299
It just so happened...
165
00:12:25,419 --> 00:12:28,928
We walked away for a moment...
and got lost in the sands.
166
00:12:29,151 --> 00:12:30,673
- Grr... Kyoo.
167
00:12:43,251 --> 00:12:45,709
- Take it. It's warm.
168
00:12:47,236 --> 00:12:48,180
- Koo!
169
00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:49,677
Pardon, what?
170
00:12:50,293 --> 00:12:51,730
- Koo!
171
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,436
- You want my hat? OK.
172
00:13:04,128 --> 00:13:07,051
I'm sorry, it's not mine,
I can't give it away...
173
00:13:12,382 --> 00:13:14,604
(Gedevan: )
There's nothing in there.
174
00:13:14,823 --> 00:13:15,852
(Mashkov: )
Open it.
175
00:13:22,074 --> 00:13:24,779
(Gedevan: )
It's not wine, it's vinegar.
176
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:26,542
(The stranger: ) – Koo!
177
00:13:31,212 --> 00:13:34,300
- Weeeh... Kyoo...
178
00:13:34,511 --> 00:13:36,019
- Sour, right?
179
00:13:46,053 --> 00:13:48,199
Well, friend, so that's settled?
180
00:13:48,538 --> 00:13:49,747
You’ll give us a lift?..
181
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,735
Fiddler, hurry up!..
182
00:13:57,828 --> 00:13:59,597
As I said, just to the nearest city!
183
00:13:59,776 --> 00:14:01,925
Once there,
we'll easily find the way!
184
00:14:02,246 --> 00:14:03,253
- Koo!
185
00:14:05,093 --> 00:14:06,910
- The jacket now...
186
00:14:16,575 --> 00:14:17,984
(Mashkov: )
- Bastards!
187
00:14:25,441 --> 00:14:27,891
(Gedevan: )
- Glad I didn't give them the violin.
188
00:14:47,775 --> 00:14:50,131
(Gedevan: )
Looks like they're ashamed!
189
00:15:06,207 --> 00:15:07,500
Ketse!
190
00:15:08,234 --> 00:15:09,594
Ketse!!
191
00:15:10,501 --> 00:15:11,444
Ketse.
192
00:15:11,729 --> 00:15:12,924
- What does it mean, 'ketse'?
193
00:15:13,044 --> 00:15:14,090
- Ketse!
194
00:15:14,683 --> 00:15:15,500
Ketse.
195
00:15:17,491 --> 00:15:19,517
He seems to want a match.
196
00:15:19,726 --> 00:15:21,292
- You want a match?
197
00:15:21,412 --> 00:15:22,315
- Ketse!
198
00:15:27,168 --> 00:15:28,727
Here. It’s yours.
199
00:15:39,578 --> 00:15:40,526
- Koo!
200
00:15:44,781 --> 00:15:46,118
- The whole box?
201
00:15:46,271 --> 00:15:47,180
- Koo!
202
00:15:48,339 --> 00:15:51,606
Take us away from here,
and we'll give you 'koo'.
203
00:17:08,809 --> 00:17:10,876
Not a single letter,
204
00:17:11,188 --> 00:17:13,200
not a single 'made in' label...
205
00:17:16,524 --> 00:17:17,739
- Koo!
206
00:17:22,505 --> 00:17:24,032
- Sorry, I don't understand...
207
00:17:24,152 --> 00:17:25,220
- Koo!
208
00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:29,920
- Sprechen Sie Turkisch?
209
00:17:30,145 --> 00:17:31,163
- Kyoo!
210
00:17:34,255 --> 00:17:35,284
- Koo
211
00:17:39,507 --> 00:17:41,252
- What do they want?
212
00:17:43,178 --> 00:17:44,988
KOO they want!
213
00:18:01,041 --> 00:18:02,067
Tsak!
214
00:18:03,181 --> 00:18:04,418
Thank you...
215
00:18:08,662 --> 00:18:09,528
- Tsak!
216
00:18:11,015 --> 00:18:13,177
- He wants me to put the bell on.
217
00:18:15,975 --> 00:18:17,162
(Mashkov: )
- Not on his life!
218
00:18:17,282 --> 00:18:18,239
- Tsak!
219
00:18:20,688 --> 00:18:21,604
Tsak...
220
00:18:22,495 --> 00:18:25,554
- I'll do it, Vladimir Nikolaevich,
if it makes him happy...
221
00:18:27,597 --> 00:18:29,552
Go ahead!
Do what you want.
222
00:18:40,774 --> 00:18:41,949
- Tsak!
223
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:45,622
Tsak...
224
00:18:47,008 --> 00:18:47,874
Tsak...
225
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:50,398
Tsak!
226
00:18:56,882 --> 00:18:59,470
- OK, you pushed it enough.
227
00:19:10,536 --> 00:19:11,649
Ding, ding.
228
00:19:17,131 --> 00:19:18,244
Koo.
229
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:04,249
Koo!
230
00:20:10,613 --> 00:20:11,925
- Koo!
- Koo!
231
00:20:14,485 --> 00:20:15,327
Koo.
232
00:20:17,602 --> 00:20:18,393
- Koo.
233
00:20:19,247 --> 00:20:19,903
- Koo.
234
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:22,005
- Koo.
235
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:25,665
- Koo.
236
00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:27,749
- Koo.
237
00:20:34,725 --> 00:20:36,370
You won't mind me smoking,
will you?
238
00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:39,698
- Ketse!!!
239
00:20:39,818 --> 00:20:41,631
- Calm down, calm down!
- Ketse...
240
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:49,936
- Ketse!
241
00:21:32,310 --> 00:21:36,318
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
maybe we're really on...
242
00:21:37,857 --> 00:21:40,210
Yeah right!
They’re typical Martians.
243
00:21:49,734 --> 00:21:50,699
Kyoo!
244
00:22:03,212 --> 00:22:08,445
(The tall stranger: )
Lucy darling,
damn you with your... macaroni.
245
00:22:17,385 --> 00:22:18,410
So...
246
00:22:19,622 --> 00:22:21,366
You speak Russian do you?
247
00:22:22,950 --> 00:22:25,216
Why was it necessary to conceal it?
248
00:22:25,785 --> 00:22:27,208
Well, we didn't.
249
00:22:28,845 --> 00:22:32,156
It's hard to penetrate your language,
when your thoughts are bilingual.
250
00:22:32,276 --> 00:22:36,788
And this Patsak is always talkin'
in languages, the rest of which
he doesn't know!
251
00:22:37,193 --> 00:22:40,397
What are you starin' at me,
maimuna verishvilo?!
252
00:22:41,156 --> 00:22:42,640
They speak Georgian too...
253
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:43,877
What did he say?
254
00:22:44,410 --> 00:22:45,957
Monkey son of a donkey.
255
00:22:46,077 --> 00:22:47,110
Alright.
256
00:22:48,022 --> 00:22:49,694
We're from the Soviet Union,
257
00:22:49,814 --> 00:22:51,189
here on a cultural exchange.
258
00:22:51,309 --> 00:22:52,676
Our compatriots know
where we are.
259
00:22:52,796 --> 00:22:53,676
They're looking for us.
260
00:22:54,007 --> 00:22:57,545
If you don't let us to
contact our embassy, you'll be
261
00:22:57,916 --> 00:23:00,279
in big trouble, is that clear?
262
00:23:00,734 --> 00:23:01,415
- Tsak.
263
00:23:03,246 --> 00:23:04,248
- Koo.
264
00:23:04,973 --> 00:23:06,645
We don't understand ‘embassy’.
265
00:23:06,765 --> 00:23:08,784
Put the tsak back!
266
00:23:09,302 --> 00:23:11,204
You understand macaroni,
267
00:23:11,324 --> 00:23:13,394
you understand maimuna,
268
00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:16,472
yet you don’t know...
what's an embassy?!
269
00:23:17,968 --> 00:23:20,207
Quit messing with us!
270
00:23:20,327 --> 00:23:21,110
Got it?
271
00:23:21,230 --> 00:23:25,179
You THOUGHT about macaroni
and I just repeated it.
272
00:23:25,623 --> 00:23:28,269
It's not Earth,
not Africa, my friend.
273
00:23:29,569 --> 00:23:31,559
It's the planet Pluke,
274
00:23:32,176 --> 00:23:33,996
215 in the Tenture.
275
00:23:34,665 --> 00:23:37,040
The Kin Dza Dza galaxy
in the Spiral.
276
00:23:37,337 --> 00:23:38,426
Got it?
277
00:23:41,856 --> 00:23:44,441
Congrats... here we are.
278
00:23:47,319 --> 00:23:48,950
Put the bell on, my friend...
279
00:23:50,509 --> 00:23:51,536
Put it on.
280
00:23:56,384 --> 00:23:57,338
Good boy,
281
00:23:58,326 --> 00:23:59,674
well done.
282
00:24:03,504 --> 00:24:04,085
- Koo.
283
00:24:28,971 --> 00:24:30,275
Excuse me,
where have we landed?
284
00:24:30,395 --> 00:24:33,543
Shh!
She has very sharp ears.
285
00:24:33,963 --> 00:24:35,951
Do you know the tenture
of your planet?
286
00:24:36,071 --> 00:24:36,850
Tenture?
287
00:24:37,132 --> 00:24:40,698
Well.. tell us your
galaxy number in the Spiral.
288
00:24:40,818 --> 00:24:42,871
- In... what? In the spiral?
- Yes, in the Spiral...
289
00:24:43,107 --> 00:24:44,864
Er... The Earth is... er...
290
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:50,187
It orbits with such planets as er...
Venus, Saturn, Mars, Jupiter...
291
00:24:51,315 --> 00:24:52,996
What else,
Vladimir Nikolaevich?
292
00:24:53,116 --> 00:24:54,346
Ursa Major.
293
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,774
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
come here.
294
00:25:02,941 --> 00:25:05,830
Do you have more matches
on your planet?
295
00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:07,635
Well, I'll try an' get some.
296
00:25:07,755 --> 00:25:10,292
How many will you give us
if we PUT you back there?
297
00:25:12,194 --> 00:25:15,498
- How many do you want?
- Two boxes like that!!
298
00:25:15,914 --> 00:25:18,161
- Seven!
- Yes! Seven!
299
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:20,309
And this box...
300
00:25:20,557 --> 00:25:23,789
Give it to me now!
I'll buy a gravitsapa.
301
00:25:24,035 --> 00:25:26,403
Excuse me,
what is a gravitsapa?
302
00:25:27,227 --> 00:25:30,966
Without a gravitsapa a pepelats
can only fly like this,
303
00:25:31,420 --> 00:25:34,478
but with it you can reach
any point in the universe -
304
00:25:35,407 --> 00:25:36,420
in 5 seconds.
305
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:41,458
Hey, you've taken a pepelats out
of the garage without a gravitsapa?!
306
00:25:41,578 --> 00:25:42,445
It's no good!
307
00:25:42,565 --> 00:25:43,677
We had a gravitsapa.
308
00:25:43,797 --> 00:25:46,135
But when we came here,
it got pinched.
309
00:25:46,617 --> 00:25:48,721
Excuse me, do you have
a space transfer machine?
310
00:25:48,841 --> 00:25:50,306
- No.
- No, we have none.
311
00:25:50,577 --> 00:25:51,823
Give me the matches.
312
00:25:52,477 --> 00:25:53,636
Give us some water.
313
00:26:01,862 --> 00:26:02,948
- Kyoo!
- Kyoo!
314
00:26:03,068 --> 00:26:04,470
- Kyoo!
- Kyoo!
315
00:26:14,750 --> 00:26:15,654
Like this!
316
00:26:15,774 --> 00:26:18,888
You must do this!
You must do this!
317
00:26:19,136 --> 00:26:20,245
Do this...
318
00:26:21,971 --> 00:26:25,376
This is yours,
this is how you smoke now.
319
00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:27,183
Thank you.
320
00:26:29,581 --> 00:26:30,290
- Koo!
321
00:26:31,708 --> 00:26:34,063
- He said they have
a gravitsapa.
322
00:26:34,867 --> 00:26:36,626
Put your matches here.
323
00:26:37,010 --> 00:26:41,846
I have a proposition.
When you PUT us on the Earth,
you'll get this and this.
324
00:26:41,966 --> 00:26:42,825
- What??
325
00:26:42,945 --> 00:26:45,319
Come on, Fiddler,
to the outer space.
326
00:26:46,524 --> 00:26:47,393
- Wait! Come back.
327
00:26:49,338 --> 00:26:50,746
Give it to me!
328
00:26:52,804 --> 00:26:55,385
- Give it to me!
- On Mother Earth you'll get them.
329
00:26:56,242 --> 00:26:57,751
Vladimir Nikolaevich!
330
00:26:58,159 --> 00:27:01,113
You said if we take you,
you'd give us all of it!
331
00:27:01,748 --> 00:27:03,516
But then you stole
this match from us!
332
00:27:03,808 --> 00:27:06,777
Patsak won't cheat on Patsak.
It's not nice, my friend...
333
00:27:06,897 --> 00:27:08,549
I said -
take us to the city!
334
00:27:08,669 --> 00:27:10,904
- And what's this?
- A barn!
335
00:27:11,024 --> 00:27:12,051
And this?
336
00:27:14,748 --> 00:27:15,848
And this?
337
00:27:16,937 --> 00:27:19,380
What's this here
- not a city?!
338
00:27:19,709 --> 00:27:21,513
Stop pissin' about!
339
00:27:22,767 --> 00:27:24,809
Let's see that gravitsapa.
340
00:27:25,289 --> 00:27:27,456
If it's major brand,
we'll take it.
341
00:27:28,113 --> 00:27:29,617
- Patsak!
342
00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:34,842
What bonehead would take
smuggled ketse
in front of witnesses?!
343
00:27:35,088 --> 00:27:37,915
You'll get life-long ecikh
with nails for it!
344
00:27:38,035 --> 00:27:40,824
Wha'd'you have in your head,
brain or kyoo?
345
00:27:42,378 --> 00:27:44,103
We'll buy it ourselves.
Let's go, Fiddler.
346
00:27:46,411 --> 00:27:47,614
Stop!
347
00:27:48,312 --> 00:27:49,875
Stop I said!
348
00:27:55,620 --> 00:27:56,977
Who are you?
349
00:27:58,496 --> 00:28:01,156
I asked who are you?!
350
00:28:03,010 --> 00:28:06,340
- An alien foreman.
- No. You're Patsak!
351
00:28:06,460 --> 00:28:08,624
- And who are you?
- I'm Georgian.
352
00:28:08,744 --> 00:28:11,097
No! You're Patsak, too!
353
00:28:11,217 --> 00:28:12,994
You're Patsak,
you're Patsak
354
00:28:13,114 --> 00:28:14,387
and he's also Patsak!
355
00:28:14,507 --> 00:28:17,598
But I'm Chatlanian!
And they are Chatlanian too!
356
00:28:17,718 --> 00:28:21,787
So you put your tsak on
and sit in pepelats, got it?
357
00:28:22,366 --> 00:28:23,533
What?
358
00:28:23,653 --> 00:28:26,847
Watch, my friend...
When I point this visator at myself,
359
00:28:26,967 --> 00:28:30,306
which signal registers?
Green.
360
00:28:30,685 --> 00:28:34,308
Now at him, watch - green, too.
361
00:28:34,771 --> 00:28:36,909
And at you... Green.
362
00:28:37,176 --> 00:28:41,500
Now look at Wef - which colour?
Orange?
363
00:28:41,751 --> 00:28:43,960
Because he is Chatlanian!
364
00:28:44,429 --> 00:28:46,009
Well, do you understand?
365
00:28:46,257 --> 00:28:49,060
- So what?
- Pluke is a Chatlanian planet.
366
00:28:49,369 --> 00:28:52,194
Therefore we Patsaks
must wear tsak...
367
00:28:52,446 --> 00:28:57,733
Yes! And in front of us Chatlanians
you must do like this!
368
00:28:58,171 --> 00:29:01,127
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
it's an unbridled racism.
369
00:29:01,785 --> 00:29:05,119
- Come again, please.
- Like this!
370
00:29:05,339 --> 00:29:08,800
- A bit slower, could you?
- Like this.
371
00:29:10,325 --> 00:29:11,964
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
372
00:29:12,419 --> 00:29:16,033
you have a wife at home,
a son struggling in school,
373
00:29:16,376 --> 00:29:21,665
a cooperative flat you haven't paid for,
and yet you're messing around.
374
00:29:22,377 --> 00:29:25,663
You'll come to no good,
my friend.
375
00:29:28,651 --> 00:29:29,320
Take it.
376
00:29:30,822 --> 00:29:33,226
Alright, Fiddler,
let's play their games...
377
00:29:33,483 --> 00:29:38,123
There we are, well done.
Now give a match to Wef,
he'll buy the gravitsapa.
378
00:29:38,592 --> 00:29:41,210
- He said he needed them all.
- I was joking.
379
00:29:42,119 --> 00:29:43,544
Very funny.
380
00:29:46,348 --> 00:29:47,764
- Koo.
- Wait.
381
00:29:48,211 --> 00:29:50,013
Koo. We'll go together...
382
00:29:55,338 --> 00:29:59,794
Don't show 'em your ketse,
and don't think about it.
Just show 'em mine.
383
00:29:59,914 --> 00:30:04,381
And don't give 'em
more than half a match.
Gravitsapa costs half a match.
384
00:30:05,211 --> 00:30:07,250
Your Patsak said
a whole match.
385
00:30:09,004 --> 00:30:11,056
He was joking, too.
386
00:30:27,801 --> 00:30:29,738
Concrete mark 300?
387
00:30:32,461 --> 00:30:36,168
Patsak! Remember -
half or less.
388
00:30:36,427 --> 00:30:37,088
OK.
389
00:30:37,556 --> 00:30:40,492
Excuse me...
Chatlanian and Patsak -
is it nationality?
390
00:30:40,612 --> 00:30:41,384
No.
391
00:30:42,972 --> 00:30:45,338
- Biological factor?
- No.
392
00:30:45,458 --> 00:30:47,908
- From different planets?
- No.
393
00:30:48,028 --> 00:30:50,258
So what distinguishes
one from another?
394
00:30:50,378 --> 00:30:54,667
Are you colour-blind, Fiddler?
Can't you tell green from orange?...
395
00:30:55,088 --> 00:30:56,261
Tourist!
396
00:31:03,006 --> 00:31:04,734
Wow!
397
00:31:06,731 --> 00:31:08,339
Skyscraper!
398
00:31:08,949 --> 00:31:10,715
Come on!
399
00:31:16,346 --> 00:31:16,947
Koo.
400
00:31:23,387 --> 00:31:25,687
Koo!
Vova, do as I taught!
401
00:31:26,288 --> 00:31:28,406
Hi, citizen.
402
00:31:29,541 --> 00:31:32,707
You don't feel cold
in the coat, do you?
403
00:31:41,948 --> 00:31:45,399
They won’t let me in.
They want you alone.
404
00:31:45,776 --> 00:31:49,124
Don't give 'em ketse,
bring the gravitsapa here,
I'll check it.
405
00:31:51,118 --> 00:31:52,381
Enter!
406
00:31:56,141 --> 00:31:58,478
- Not you!
- We're together!
407
00:31:58,598 --> 00:32:01,798
- Not you!
- Vladimir Nikolaevich, tell him!
408
00:32:02,605 --> 00:32:03,815
It's alright.
409
00:32:05,208 --> 00:32:06,682
Wait here.
410
00:32:13,606 --> 00:32:15,413
But don't leave!
411
00:32:34,948 --> 00:32:36,570
Hi!
412
00:32:40,202 --> 00:32:41,967
How are things?
413
00:32:45,279 --> 00:32:47,103
You want me to squat...
414
00:32:47,726 --> 00:32:51,859
well, just out of respect
for the ladies present...
415
00:32:54,074 --> 00:32:56,598
Well what's new...
on Pluke?
416
00:32:57,958 --> 00:33:00,529
Gimme ketse,
you'll get a gravitsapa.
417
00:33:13,149 --> 00:33:14,447
A half!
418
00:33:16,308 --> 00:33:17,956
Yeah, a half.
419
00:33:19,148 --> 00:33:20,641
May I have a look?
420
00:33:20,968 --> 00:33:22,229
Sure.
421
00:33:34,412 --> 00:33:38,120
Actually, I am not an expert
in these gravitsapas...
422
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:42,206
So let's go and show it
to my Chatlanian,
he'll check it, OK?
423
00:33:42,439 --> 00:33:45,937
- Jus’ a moment while we
install the tsapa.
424
00:34:03,076 --> 00:34:05,591
Sore throat?
425
00:34:10,008 --> 00:34:11,131
It’s water...
426
00:34:11,459 --> 00:34:18,955
I have a proposition.
I'll give you the rest of this ketse
for two bottles of water.
427
00:34:19,178 --> 00:34:20,302
- Agreed?
428
00:34:20,612 --> 00:34:21,496
- OK.
429
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,328
Do you have food?
430
00:34:35,448 --> 00:34:36,948
Kasha...
431
00:34:37,268 --> 00:34:38,741
What kind?
432
00:34:40,273 --> 00:34:42,216
Plastic...
433
00:34:48,542 --> 00:34:52,946
I’ll give you
this whole ketse
434
00:34:54,051 --> 00:34:59,064
for five bottles of water
and a kilo of kasha.
435
00:35:03,491 --> 00:35:05,857
- What’s this?
- Ketse.
436
00:35:07,113 --> 00:35:10,280
- We have to check it again.
- Well, check it.
437
00:35:12,366 -->;;;; 00:35:13,508
- Koo!
438
00:35:28,260 --> 00:35:30,594
Hey, where are you going?
439
00:35:32,481 --> 00:35:34,180
Wait man...
440
00:36:01,658 --> 00:36:02,914
Fiddler!
441
00:36:03,266 --> 00:36:06,327
Can you obtain more
matches on Earth?
442
00:36:07,857 --> 00:36:09,171
I can.
443
00:36:12,651 --> 00:36:16,822
If you can spit further than me,
I'll give you half a chatl.
444
00:36:17,019 --> 00:36:20,255
Here... this is a Spitta.
445
00:36:20,573 --> 00:36:24,377
And if I can OVERSPIT you,
you’ll give me two matches....
446
00:36:33,469 --> 00:36:34,808
- Understood?
- No.
447
00:36:34,928 --> 00:36:36,560
It's just a simple game.
448
00:36:36,896 --> 00:36:40,597
I bet half a chatl,
you bet 3 matches.
449
00:36:40,598 --> 00:36:43,938
- Come on, spit, sonnie!
- Thank you, I'd rather not.
450
00:36:44,849 --> 00:36:49,578
OK, you bet one match,
I bet 3 chatls an’ Yellow Pants,
451
00:36:49,844 --> 00:36:53,072
and I’ll give you... a head-start
LIKE THIS! Come on!
452
00:36:53,269 --> 00:36:53,861
- No!
453
00:36:54,674 --> 00:36:55,441
- Well, Blue Pants!
454
00:36:55,561 --> 00:36:58,559
Mr Uef, I will not enter
on any terms and conditions.
455
00:36:58,819 --> 00:37:00,064
Is that CRUELLY FINAL?
456
00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:07,508
So why are you pissin’ about,
maimuna verishvilo?!
457
00:37:10,065 --> 00:37:16,070
Mr Wef! I represent a civilized planet,
and insist you watch your language!
458
00:37:16,366 --> 00:37:16,881
Yeah!
459
00:37:44,406 --> 00:37:46,174
Where are they?
460
00:37:46,770 --> 00:37:47,668
Who?
461
00:37:47,788 --> 00:37:49,648
That one, with a scar!
462
00:37:49,895 --> 00:37:52,733
I'm such a bonehead!
I gave him all the matches!
463
00:38:53,209 --> 00:38:54,608
- Kyoo... Woe...
464
00:38:54,728 --> 00:38:56,411
- Kyoo... Woe...
465
00:38:56,531 --> 00:38:58,497
- Kyoo... Woe...
466
00:39:01,169 --> 00:39:04,474
- Kyoo... Woe...
- Stop it, men. Enough!
467
00:39:05,748 --> 00:39:07,464
Enough? Enough?!
468
00:39:07,584 --> 00:39:11,160
I told him a thousand times
we should go to the Centre!
469
00:39:11,463 --> 00:39:14,399
But he's greedy
like all Chatlanians!
470
00:39:14,645 --> 00:39:17,620
All he wanted is
to save 2 chatls! Kyoo!
471
00:39:18,002 --> 00:39:20,372
Well, I have another one.
472
00:39:24,342 --> 00:39:27,538
As I understand it,
enough for a gravitsapa.
473
00:39:27,939 --> 00:39:29,973
Give it to me. Now.
474
00:39:30,093 --> 00:39:31,007
Why?
475
00:39:31,127 --> 00:39:32,840
To buy a gravitsapa!
476
00:39:35,085 --> 00:39:36,123
Where?
477
00:39:36,647 --> 00:39:38,372
There, in the Centre.
478
00:39:39,156 --> 00:39:42,178
How will you
get us to Earth,
479
00:39:42,298 --> 00:39:46,751
when you don't even know
in which galaxy she orbits?
480
00:39:47,096 --> 00:39:48,830
Your planet number,
you bonehead...
481
00:39:49,122 --> 00:39:52,378
any planetarium in the Centre
will give out for 2 chatls!
482
00:39:53,240 --> 00:39:55,392
Give me the match, OK?
483
00:39:55,712 --> 00:39:57,908
So that you could
bury us in the sand?!
484
00:39:58,028 --> 00:40:00,476
- So you won't give it?
- No.
485
00:40:00,783 --> 00:40:05,512
- Is that cruelly final?
- Most cruelly.
486
00:40:10,288 --> 00:40:14,099
Then goodbye,
my friend.
487
00:40:19,038 --> 00:40:21,012
They're going away,
Vladimir Nikolaevich.
488
00:40:21,132 --> 00:40:22,351
Like hell!
489
00:40:22,471 --> 00:40:25,147
They'll hang themselves
for a match!
490
00:40:32,964 --> 00:40:35,994
Either you give us
the match now,
491
00:40:36,234 --> 00:40:41,458
or we won't PUT you on Earth
for less than 7 boxes!
492
00:40:46,380 --> 00:40:48,127
OK, 2 000.
493
00:40:49,390 --> 00:40:50,925
No! 3 000!
494
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:52,968
Well, 2 300.
495
00:40:53,340 --> 00:40:55,120
3 000, I say!
496
00:41:03,790 --> 00:41:05,910
2 500,
I can't give you more.
497
00:41:06,390 --> 00:41:08,188
Yes, you can, my friend.
498
00:41:08,990 --> 00:41:11,050
Mr Bee,
499
00:41:13,700 --> 00:41:16,748
I have 50 roubles,
500
00:41:17,323 --> 00:41:19,710
matches cost
2 kopecks per box,
501
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:23,319
so I can buy 2 500,
it's maximum...
502
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:26,770
Fiddler, don’t bullshit!
You have more Russian chatls.
503
00:41:31,750 --> 00:41:37,470
Mr Wef! Don’t you call me Fiddler!
My name is Gedevan Alexandrovich!
504
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:47,507
What's that, an engine?
505
00:41:47,980 --> 00:41:50,074
Don't poke your nose
in every hole!
506
00:41:50,350 --> 00:41:52,590
...Gedevan Alexandrovich...
507
00:41:56,020 --> 00:42:01,276
Gedevan, let's tie up these rogues
and take a course to the North.
508
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:03,654
What for?
509
00:42:04,027 --> 00:42:06,551
What if the shores
of the Mediterranean are there?
510
00:42:08,424 --> 00:42:10,817
Ha! Vladimir Nikolaevich,
are you nuts?
511
00:42:11,190 --> 00:42:13,332
Where did you get
seas on Pluke?
512
00:42:13,779 --> 00:42:16,799
Our seas have been made
into LUTZ long ago.
513
00:42:18,370 --> 00:42:19,810
Excuse me, into what?
514
00:42:21,428 --> 00:42:23,149
Into fuel, Fiddler. Into fuel...
515
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,930
Now you owe us 6 140 boxes.
516
00:42:29,050 --> 00:42:30,718
Why so much?
517
00:42:31,353 --> 00:42:34,633
You ate kasha,
you're drinking water...
plus the bandura.
518
00:42:36,730 --> 00:42:40,196
No, cancel the bandura...
we don't want the bandura.
Put it back, Fiddler.
519
00:42:49,660 --> 00:42:52,751
Uncle Vova, we need to bring back
a sample of technology.
520
00:42:52,871 --> 00:42:55,019
If not, who will believe us?
521
00:42:55,020 --> 00:42:59,040
Well, give them the violin,
if you like that bandura so much.
522
00:43:00,873 --> 00:43:06,023
It's an 18th century Italian violin!
It’s worth 1000 roubles, if not more!
523
00:43:06,641 --> 00:43:07,878
How would I ever pay it back?
524
00:43:08,092 --> 00:43:08,908
Koo.
525
00:43:09,797 --> 00:43:10,604
Koo.
526
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:18,943
Fiddler, instead of thinking that
you're the first Georgian cosmonaut
and that you'd get a Nobel Prize,
527
00:43:19,638 --> 00:43:24,494
give back the spoon
you stole from us poor artists.
528
00:43:26,650 --> 00:43:29,246
I wasn’t thinking anything
about cosmos or Nobel...
529
00:43:34,698 --> 00:43:39,344
I wanted to bring it to the
institute of non-ferrous metals,
it may prove something new...
530
00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:42,297
Heavens!
531
00:43:42,536 --> 00:43:46,919
The heavens never saw
such a disreputable Patsak
as you, Fiddler.
532
00:43:47,650 --> 00:43:50,368
I am deeply saddened.
533
00:43:55,751 --> 00:43:57,047
Where are you goin’?
534
00:43:57,167 --> 00:43:58,333
To the toilet.
535
00:43:58,453 --> 00:44:01,925
Money not allowed in the toilet!
Leave money here...
536
00:44:02,949 --> 00:44:05,033
...Gedevan Alexandrovich!
537
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:43,694
Ketse is very expensive,
my friend.
538
00:44:43,814 --> 00:44:44,797
Why?
539
00:44:45,651 --> 00:44:47,595
Well... back on Earth,
540
00:44:47,715 --> 00:44:51,571
how do you determine
who should squat in front of whom
and how many times?
541
00:44:51,910 --> 00:44:53,664
Well, it's a guess-work.
542
00:44:55,148 --> 00:44:56,752
Barbarians!
543
00:44:57,612 --> 00:45:01,708
Look man, I like you,
so I'll teach you.
544
00:45:02,528 --> 00:45:07,451
If I have a few ketse,
I have the right
to wear Yellow Pants.
545
00:45:08,124 --> 00:45:14,009
So, Patsaks have to squat
in front of me not once, but twice.
546
00:45:14,357 --> 00:45:21,236
If I have a lot of ketse,
I have the right to wear
Crimson Pants.
547
00:45:22,277 --> 00:45:29,999
So, Patsaks have to squat in front
of me twice, and Chatlanians have
to koo to me!
548
00:45:30,602 --> 00:45:34,755
And an ecilop may not
beat me up at night!
549
00:45:35,601 --> 00:45:36,832
...Never!
550
00:45:39,008 --> 00:45:40,767
I have a proposition, my friend.
551
00:45:41,326 --> 00:45:47,350
You give us the match now, and later
we'll bring you Yellow Pants, deal?
552
00:45:48,552 --> 00:45:50,956
Thanks, I already have a pair.
Fiddler maybe needs some...
553
00:45:51,172 --> 00:45:54,499
Hey, Fiddler!
Aliens are peddlin' pants here!
554
00:45:56,026 --> 00:45:58,164
Yellow ones! Need any?
555
00:46:00,064 --> 00:46:01,773
There is no Fiddler,
my friend.
556
00:46:01,893 --> 00:46:02,702
What?!
557
00:46:02,822 --> 00:46:04,055
I ejected him.
558
00:46:04,175 --> 00:46:06,129
But you needn't worry,
Vladimir Nokolaevich.
559
00:46:06,249 --> 00:46:08,446
We have another catapult.
A new one.
560
00:46:08,566 --> 00:46:10,357
That old one
was broken anyway.
561
00:46:10,477 --> 00:46:12,070
I don't get it...
562
00:46:12,190 --> 00:46:15,528
I pressed the kappa
he flew away.
563
00:46:16,350 --> 00:46:20,532
Fiddler isn't needed, my friend,
he's just a waste of fuel...
564
00:46:31,714 --> 00:46:33,062
Turn back!
565
00:46:34,350 --> 00:46:35,320
Impossible...
566
00:46:35,699 --> 00:46:38,152
We’re out of lutz.
We need to fly
to the lutz station.
567
00:46:39,470 --> 00:46:43,550
Turn back!
Or I’ll burn this damned ketse!
568
00:46:45,527 --> 00:46:47,960
Gedevan!
569
00:46:52,325 --> 00:46:54,680
Fiddler!
570
00:46:58,470 --> 00:47:00,650
Hey, Fiddler!
571
00:47:12,422 --> 00:47:13,859
Where could he have gone?
572
00:47:13,979 --> 00:47:17,510
You've been told.
The ecilops caught him.
573
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:19,452
Well let's go, my friend.
574
00:47:19,572 --> 00:47:21,591
You bastards!
You've really done it now!
575
00:47:25,730 --> 00:47:28,004
Call the ecilops on the radio!
576
00:47:28,717 --> 00:47:31,839
We have no radio.We threw it away,
because of annoying Maydays!
577
00:47:32,150 --> 00:47:33,679
I'll check myself!
578
00:47:33,799 --> 00:47:35,680
Ecilop!
579
00:47:44,430 --> 00:47:46,092
Put the tsak on, now!
580
00:47:48,390 --> 00:47:51,121
- Put the tsak on!
- Not on his life!
581
00:48:00,122 --> 00:48:01,043
Koo!
582
00:48:01,578 --> 00:48:02,423
Koo.
583
00:48:04,140 --> 00:48:06,340
Put it on, or he’ll
tranklucate you!
584
00:48:06,752 --> 00:48:08,314
You and the match!
585
00:48:15,793 --> 00:48:16,535
Koo.
586
00:48:32,918 --> 00:48:33,839
Koo!
587
00:49:02,910 --> 00:49:04,410
Hello.
588
00:49:04,774 --> 00:49:08,084
Listen, friend, we lost
a young lad around here,
did you see him?
589
00:49:08,204 --> 00:49:09,039
Koo!
590
00:49:10,460 --> 00:49:11,637
What?
591
00:49:24,412 --> 00:49:29,280
Oh! Sorry, I forgot...
They said you picked him up.
592
00:49:29,755 --> 00:49:30,675
Koo.
593
00:49:33,996 --> 00:49:34,710
Koo.
594
00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:12,794
I told you Fiddler isn't needed!
But you weren’t listening!
595
00:50:12,914 --> 00:50:16,070
How will we buy lutz now?
How?!
596
00:50:20,523 --> 00:50:21,443
How?!
597
00:50:21,784 --> 00:50:24,252
You're a damned bastard,
my friend...
598
00:50:24,372 --> 00:50:27,110
He's worse.
He's just a kyoo.
599
00:51:02,269 --> 00:51:03,940
I have a proposition.
600
00:51:04,231 --> 00:51:08,479
We find Fiddler, and then we’ll go
to the local government...
601
00:51:08,599 --> 00:51:10,830
Get me some sand,
my friend...
602
00:51:12,173 --> 00:51:15,260
We tell to your governors
who we are, where we're from...
603
00:51:17,597 --> 00:51:20,376
They'll give us a gravitsapa,
604
00:51:20,586 --> 00:51:26,000
and we'll organize
a mutually beneficial trade...
605
00:51:27,642 --> 00:51:32,797
Pluke to Earth: lots of yellow pants.
Earth to Pluke: as many ketse
as the Plukanians want.
606
00:51:33,069 --> 00:51:36,112
We ALREADY need a gravitsapa
to go to the government!
607
00:51:36,232 --> 00:51:39,510
The governors live
on another planet, my friend.
608
00:52:24,950 --> 00:52:27,840
Uncle Vova!
I'm here!
609
00:52:30,144 --> 00:52:31,806
I’m here!
610
00:52:46,562 --> 00:52:48,299
- Fiddler!
- What?
611
00:52:48,419 --> 00:52:50,637
Where is my thing...
what’s it called...?
612
00:52:50,757 --> 00:52:52,505
Tsak?
613
00:52:53,643 --> 00:52:55,005
Yeah.
614
00:52:56,188 --> 00:52:58,357
- I have it.
- So give it to me!
615
00:52:58,477 --> 00:52:59,467
Right here?
Why?
616
00:52:59,587 --> 00:53:01,880
Well, just give it to me, I said!
617
00:53:05,361 --> 00:53:07,239
But there’s nobody here...
618
00:53:08,300 --> 00:53:09,502
Hey, that's mine.
619
00:53:09,622 --> 00:53:11,718
Alright, so keep it ready!
620
00:53:31,904 --> 00:53:33,735
Are you asleep?
621
00:53:34,772 --> 00:53:36,068
No.
622
00:53:36,500 --> 00:53:38,387
Cheer up, Fiddler.
623
00:53:38,622 --> 00:53:42,133
If there is a gravitsapa
on Pluke, we'll get it.
624
00:53:43,380 --> 00:53:47,014
It was happening to me
to get things even harder to find
625
00:53:49,916 --> 00:53:50,996
Quiet...
626
00:53:54,510 --> 00:53:56,908
Hey! Wait!
627
00:53:57,028 --> 00:53:58,153
Koo?
628
00:53:58,273 --> 00:54:00,507
Would you give us a lift
to the Centre?
629
00:54:01,059 --> 00:54:03,185
- Patsak, stop.
- What?
630
00:54:04,683 --> 00:54:08,493
Don't come any closer.
What do you want?
631
00:54:09,224 --> 00:54:12,033
- Take us to the Centre!..
- 3 chatls.
632
00:54:13,454 --> 00:54:16,749
No money!
But we'll work for it!
633
00:54:16,869 --> 00:54:18,294
And what can you do?
634
00:54:19,300 --> 00:54:21,332
Me? I can do everything!
635
00:54:21,452 --> 00:54:22,395
Don’t brag!
What exactly?
636
00:54:22,515 --> 00:54:26,428
Vladimir Nikolaevich is a
builder site foreman!
637
00:54:26,548 --> 00:54:28,587
We can build you a house!
638
00:54:29,150 --> 00:54:30,725
And what can YOU do?
639
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:32,879
Me?
640
00:54:33,700 --> 00:54:35,832
He can play the violin!
641
00:54:37,530 --> 00:54:39,015
Play!
642
00:54:40,083 --> 00:54:41,135
Play.
643
00:54:41,419 --> 00:54:43,068
I can't!
644
00:54:44,370 --> 00:54:45,892
Bye, Patsaks.
645
00:54:46,378 --> 00:54:49,081
Citizen! Wait!
646
00:54:49,201 --> 00:54:50,337
I can!
647
00:54:50,750 --> 00:54:51,744
Play!
648
00:54:52,750 --> 00:54:53,830
Here?
649
00:54:54,340 --> 00:54:55,856
Over there!
650
00:55:17,420 --> 00:55:20,890
Wait a minute, foreman...
I'll tune the sound...
651
00:55:25,500 --> 00:55:27,472
Now, play.
652
00:55:30,820 --> 00:55:32,777
And sing.
653
00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:38,840
Right, just a sec.
654
00:55:39,992 --> 00:55:41,380
How does it go...
655
00:55:41,500 --> 00:55:46,680
(Mashkov sings: )
Mama, mama,
what shall I do?...
656
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:48,432
Cool!
657
00:55:48,988 --> 00:55:50,046
What?
658
00:55:50,350 --> 00:55:53,180
- I said, 'Cool!'
- People like it...
659
00:55:53,300 --> 00:55:56,250
- What?
- PEOPLE LIKE IT!
660
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:15,416
No...
661
00:56:16,675 --> 00:56:19,235
- I can’t sing... let me be a drummer.
- How’s that?
662
00:56:21,790 --> 00:56:22,839
Foreman!
663
00:56:23,906 --> 00:56:26,015
Fiddler isn't needed!
664
00:56:28,700 --> 00:56:30,276
It’s OK,
he won’t be a bother.
665
00:56:30,755 --> 00:56:32,264
Give us some water to drink,
will you?
666
00:56:32,770 --> 00:56:34,668
I said, after the performance.
667
00:56:35,420 --> 00:56:37,492
We could've taken it
ourselves... by force.
668
00:56:41,338 --> 00:56:44,110
Then you'd have to ask us.
669
00:56:44,230 --> 00:56:44,842
Oh!
670
00:56:45,236 --> 00:56:47,809
You touch me...
an ecilop will come
and tear your legs off.
671
00:56:47,929 --> 00:56:49,797
I don't give a damn
about your ecilop!
672
00:56:50,349 --> 00:56:52,604
Calm down, Fiddler.
Don't provoke the lady...
673
00:56:55,250 --> 00:56:56,156
Foreman!
674
00:57:08,590 --> 00:57:09,937
Look...
675
00:57:16,910 --> 00:57:18,426
Alright, I got it.
676
00:57:19,604 --> 00:57:20,410
I got it.
677
00:57:20,860 --> 00:57:25,519
Look, do you know anyone
with a gravitsapa and a pepelats?
678
00:57:25,639 --> 00:57:26,761
Why?
679
00:57:27,070 --> 00:57:29,190
Well, he could give us
a lift to Earth...
680
00:57:29,310 --> 00:57:31,829
and we'd give each of you
a big crate of ketse...
681
00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:35,652
I know that you people
don't trust words...
682
00:57:35,985 --> 00:57:37,677
Well, read...
what am I thinking?
683
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:42,954
That your wife is probably
calling all the city morgues.
684
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:46,422
No, what am I thinking
right now?
685
00:57:47,499 --> 00:57:49,189
That you will really
keep your promise.
686
00:57:49,309 --> 00:57:50,875
You see? It’s true then.
687
00:57:52,540 --> 00:57:54,996
What an idiot on Pluke
thinks the truth?
688
00:57:57,090 --> 00:57:58,420
It's absurd!
689
00:57:59,570 --> 00:58:05,225
Precisely because
you say what you don't think
and think what you don't think
690
00:58:05,345 --> 00:58:07,375
you do sit in cages.
691
00:58:07,495 --> 00:58:13,074
That’s the cause of all this bitter
cataclysm which I observe here...
692
00:58:13,194 --> 00:58:15,281
and Vladimir Nikolaevich
does too...
693
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:20,810
Patsaks have to perform in cages,
so come inside right now, you two!
Why put on lugs?
694
00:58:20,930 --> 00:58:23,829
Doesn't matter, my dear,
we will sing beside the cage.
695
00:58:23,949 --> 00:58:26,890
Get in! He saw us!
He’ll tranklucate us!
696
00:58:27,010 --> 00:58:28,480
We're not animals.
697
00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:29,966
What???
698
00:58:31,950 --> 00:58:34,000
- You SHALL come inside, I say!
- Hands off!
699
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:36,463
- You shall get in!
- Stop it!
700
00:58:37,648 --> 00:58:38,927
Kyoo!
701
00:58:39,167 --> 00:58:40,532
Koo!
702
00:58:42,710 --> 00:58:44,930
Get in!
Or he’ll melt us down!
703
00:58:46,120 --> 00:58:49,000
OK, get in Fiddler,
if she wants it so badly.
704
00:58:50,970 --> 00:58:52,168
Get in.
705
00:58:57,630 --> 00:59:01,540
One two three...
706
00:59:01,940 --> 00:59:03,265
Dance!
707
00:59:03,905 --> 00:59:04,798
Dance...
708
00:59:04,918 --> 00:59:07,264
I'll tell you what...
Go find another band!...
709
00:59:07,384 --> 00:59:08,370
...nunky!
710
00:59:09,916 --> 00:59:11,547
What???
711
00:59:22,304 --> 00:59:23,954
Don’t move!
I'll be back.
712
00:59:28,072 --> 00:59:29,479
We've got to
get out of here.
713
00:59:29,599 --> 00:59:32,235
Boys, push the cart,
could you?...it's uphill.
714
00:59:32,855 --> 00:59:34,578
The pleasure is ours...
715
00:59:42,729 --> 00:59:43,819
Accelerate!
716
00:59:44,239 --> 00:59:46,780
Bye-bye, bastards!
717
01:00:06,490 --> 01:00:08,524
I will tell everybody...
718
01:00:09,304 --> 01:00:14,241
...where this buffoon PJ
has led the planet!
719
01:00:16,350 --> 01:00:21,449
Patsaks are walking
all over Chatlanians!
720
01:00:24,995 --> 01:00:26,359
Kyoo!
721
01:00:27,004 --> 01:00:28,635
("Cosmos" - cigarettes)
722
01:00:29,072 --> 01:00:32,400
Everything's in place?
723
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:34,940
She's stolen the cologne.
724
01:00:35,870 --> 01:00:37,650
Women!..
725
01:00:43,260 --> 01:00:44,380
Let me...
726
01:00:46,443 --> 01:00:49,719
- What's in there... lead?
- Let me, uncle Vova.
727
01:01:27,100 --> 01:01:31,064
I don't even know
which way to look.
728
01:01:31,184 --> 01:01:33,420
Where's the Earth?
729
01:01:49,968 --> 01:01:51,324
Galina Borisovna!
730
01:01:51,444 --> 01:01:53,906
Comrade Mashkov and I,
as Patsaks,
731
01:01:54,026 --> 01:01:57,830
could earn 2 chatls
for a performance -
it's maximum.
732
01:01:57,950 --> 01:02:02,969
Water, lutz and bribes to ecilops
it's at least a chatl a day.
733
01:02:03,089 --> 01:02:05,519
But a gravitsapa costs
half a ketse!
734
01:02:05,639 --> 01:02:07,764
That's 2 200 chatls.
735
01:02:07,884 --> 01:02:12,471
Divide it by 365,
minus weekends... we get 6.
736
01:02:12,849 --> 01:02:16,490
And that's for those 6 years
when I had no way of returning!
737
01:02:17,041 --> 01:02:20,740
That's all very well,
Gedevan Alexandrovich,
but these are just words.
738
01:02:20,860 --> 01:02:26,990
Where is the proof, that you
arrived from the cosmos,
and not sold the violin...
739
01:02:27,110 --> 01:02:31,170
...and function all that time
in a disco in Gagry?
740
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:34,300
This is a Plukanian mineral.
741
01:02:35,253 --> 01:02:37,210
This is a chatl.
742
01:02:38,591 --> 01:02:39,884
This is a tsak.
743
01:02:40,004 --> 01:02:43,301
A screwnut and a sample of sand
are appended to the report...
744
01:02:43,421 --> 01:02:45,151
I handed over
to the Dean’s secretary
745
01:02:45,271 --> 01:02:47,251
so that it could be
sent to UNESCO.
746
01:02:47,371 --> 01:02:48,533
Where?!
747
01:02:48,911 --> 01:02:50,275
UNESCO...
748
01:02:52,744 --> 01:02:55,491
Look, Gedevan Alexandrovich...
749
01:02:55,791 --> 01:02:59,215
You had studied for half a term
and then disappeared for years!
750
01:02:59,335 --> 01:03:01,644
And now you're trying
to explain yourself...
751
01:03:01,764 --> 01:03:03,540
...with some pebble,
752
01:03:03,660 --> 01:03:07,191
a piece of old
Georgian ceramics
753
01:03:07,311 --> 01:03:09,618
and a fisher's bell!
754
01:03:09,738 --> 01:03:11,822
And you dare to insist...
755
01:03:11,942 --> 01:03:16,260
By the way...
if you have musical talent,
756
01:03:16,380 --> 01:03:20,171
then why didn’t you participate
in our students' orchestra?!
757
01:03:20,291 --> 01:03:24,894
Excuse me, Fiddler,
but it’s an elementary koo!
758
01:03:25,546 --> 01:03:27,658
END OF
PART ONE
Последний раз редактировалось
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"А ты, что видишь, a?..." (с)В.Н.
