Кин-дза-дза!

451
00:43:42,710 --> 00:43:44,090
Tsapa.

452
00:43:44,130 --> 00:43:46,130
Yes sir! Tsapa!

453
00:43:47,390 --> 00:43:49,100
Tsapa!!!
Twirl the tsapa!

454
00:43:49,130 --> 00:43:51,100
I did!

455
00:43:55,250 --> 00:43:56,460
Koo!
Are we flying?

456
00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:57,640
She’s warming up!

457
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:01,340
Brothers! Be quick!
Soon, they will come
to their senses!

458
00:44:01,370 --> 00:44:03,060
Don't interfere.

459
00:44:24,940 --> 00:44:26,770
She's landed.

460
00:44:27,130 --> 00:44:29,080
Landed where?

461
00:44:31,090 --> 00:44:32,920
Hanoud.

462
00:44:34,340 --> 00:44:36,310
And what's Hanoud?

463
00:44:36,350 --> 00:44:38,780
The planet where I was born.

464
00:44:38,810 --> 00:44:40,140
And so was I.

465
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:43,760
It’s night.

466
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,050
Now it's always night here.

467
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:47,530
Time to put this on.

468
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:48,260
What for?

469
00:44:48,300 --> 00:44:50,550
There's no bloody air here.

470
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:52,990
But how do they live here?

471
00:44:53,030 --> 00:44:55,450
Nobody's lived here for years.

472
00:44:56,050 --> 00:45:01,070
The Plukanians completely
tranklucated Hanoud
while we were on tour.

473
00:45:01,100 --> 00:45:02,390
Why?

474
00:45:02,430 --> 00:45:04,560
Because we didn't have time
to do them first.

475
00:45:04,590 --> 00:45:06,520
And why did you want
to do them?

476
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:08,880
So they’d stop hanging
over our heads.

477
00:45:10,180 --> 00:45:11,180
Oh! Did everybody perish?

478
00:45:11,210 --> 00:45:12,780
Of course.

479
00:45:13,850 --> 00:45:16,090
Vova, I've a proposition.

480
00:45:16,510 --> 00:45:18,930
This planet, Hanoud,
now costs kopecks.

481
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:20,310
63 chatls.

482
00:45:20,350 --> 00:45:22,890
We’ll tour the galaxy for a month
singing ‘Mama, Mama’…

483
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:24,850
…and the planet is ours!

484
00:45:24,890 --> 00:45:27,090
Another month –
and we’ll be able to buy air.

485
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:29,050
93 chatls.

486
00:45:29,090 --> 00:45:32,470
People lacking air
will rush straight here…

487
00:45:32,500 --> 00:45:34,030
The air belongs to us!
You see?

488
00:45:34,070 --> 00:45:37,380
They'll crawl before us,
and we'll spit on them.

489
00:45:37,410 --> 00:45:39,080
What for?

490
00:45:39,110 --> 00:45:40,700
For fun!

491
00:45:40,740 --> 00:45:42,740
Where's the fun in that?

492
00:45:43,770 --> 00:45:45,150
Too young to understand!

493
00:45:45,190 --> 00:45:49,210
Half of the planet could be yours,
the other half ours. OK?

494
00:45:50,980 --> 00:45:53,170
Oh yeah,
this is very tempting...

495
00:45:54,590 --> 00:45:56,900
…but we need to go back
to Earth, guys.

496
00:45:57,080 --> 00:46:00,680
Let’s move! The supermarket
closes in half an hour.

497
00:46:04,530 --> 00:46:07,070
Vova, quit messin’ around...

498
00:46:10,090 --> 00:46:12,220
Just look.

499
00:46:14,990 --> 00:46:16,590
We're here.

500
00:46:17,300 --> 00:46:18,900
Earth is there.

501
00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:20,900
And there's Alpha.

502
00:46:21,150 --> 00:46:24,280
On Alpha they turn us
into cactuses.

503
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:26,940
Earth is in the Anti-Tenture,
my friend.

504
00:46:27,410 --> 00:46:30,780
And there's no way
that we can reach it,
got it?

505
00:46:31,790 --> 00:46:33,050
What?!

506
00:46:33,090 --> 00:46:36,700
That’s how it is.
I've had bad luck all my life.

507
00:46:37,230 --> 00:46:40,480
A pepelats can’t get to Earth!

508
00:46:40,510 --> 00:46:42,260
So, Vova, quit arguin'!

509
00:46:42,290 --> 00:46:43,870
Right?!

510
00:46:43,910 --> 00:46:46,100
Let's go and decide
how we will divide the planet.

511
00:46:56,860 --> 00:46:59,590
Did you learn about this
in the planetarium?

512
00:46:59,620 --> 00:47:01,590
Yes, my friend.

513
00:47:01,890 --> 00:47:04,140
That’s why you stole the match?

514
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:06,700
Of course.

515
00:47:06,740 --> 00:47:09,280
They're lying, Uncle Vova.

516
00:47:10,820 --> 00:47:12,650
Don't believe them.

517
00:47:14,370 --> 00:47:17,680
Get us to Earth, that's all!

518
00:47:18,450 --> 00:47:21,290
No, Gedevan, they're not lying.

519
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:27,260
They'd crawl across the whole universe
for a chance to get some matches...

520
00:47:44,650 --> 00:47:48,110
Vova!
You shouldn't joke like that...

521
00:47:48,140 --> 00:47:51,570
This air has only 2% oxygen
of normal.

522
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:57,570
Gedevan... Don't do this.

523
00:48:57,600 --> 00:49:00,940
You're so young. Live!

524
00:49:00,970 --> 00:49:03,720
Maybe things will change...

525
00:49:04,430 --> 00:49:09,390
Fiddler isn't needed, Uncle Vova.

526
00:49:23,590 --> 00:49:26,430
Hey, Patsak!

527
00:49:31,750 --> 00:49:35,120
You’re going to croak anyway...

528
00:49:35,830 --> 00:49:38,450
Tell me the truth for once
in your life.
Why didn't you go home...

529
00:49:38,490 --> 00:49:42,040
...with that transferring jerk
while you could?

530
00:49:43,990 --> 00:49:45,650
What did you want?

531
00:49:47,300 --> 00:49:52,510
Crimson Pants?
PJ's bathhouse?
Tell me!

532
00:50:00,130 --> 00:50:04,330
Gedevan-niko, shvilo
‘my son’ in Georgian)...
Vova doesn’t confess...

533
00:50:04,750 --> 00:50:06,050
You probably know his reasons...
Tell me please!!
You can trust me.

534
00:50:07,590 --> 00:50:10,600
We’re of the same blood.
I have a Georgian mother.
Had.

535
00:50:10,650 --> 00:50:21,020
(Wef & Gedevan
both speak Georgian)

536
00:50:21,250 --> 00:50:26,060
Нe says his mother
is a local Georgian.
Was.

537
00:50:26,100 --> 00:50:31,060
Wef! I don’t care!
I’ll koo them to Alpha!

538
00:50:33,780 --> 00:50:36,740
- What?! Kyoo...
- And you, lousy Chatlanian,
put on the tsak!

539
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:39,760
And SIT DOWN when you talk
to a Patsak!

540
00:50:39,790 --> 00:50:42,600
Hanoud is a Patsak planet,
my friend!

541
00:50:45,970 --> 00:50:47,500
...Say it again, Vova.

542
00:50:48,510 --> 00:50:54,840
OK, OK. You will eject us
on Alpha, and try to brake
in its orbit, and then...

543
00:50:54,870 --> 00:50:56,140
Like hell! You won't be able
to brake there!

544
00:50:56,170 --> 00:50:58,330
Don't interrupt...

545
00:51:00,220 --> 00:51:01,700
Go on, my friend.

546
00:51:02,530 --> 00:51:06,450
Grr... On Alpha, while they
transfer us to the Earth,

547
00:51:06,490 --> 00:51:09,800
we must hold on to the bottom
of the transfer machine...

548
00:51:09,830 --> 00:51:11,800
...and the gadget will transfer
with us, in our hands.

549
00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:16,840
On Earth we'll buy you
4 big crates of matches.

550
00:51:18,910 --> 00:51:20,440
Go on, my friend.

551
00:51:20,980 --> 00:51:23,460
OK, may I stop
repeating this litany?
I’ll do all that, I promise.

552
00:51:24,110 --> 00:51:24,910
Now, let's go!

553
00:51:24,940 --> 00:51:25,670
If we're still going to...

554
00:51:25,710 --> 00:51:28,370
Because of you I'll be a cactus
in a pot forever!

555
00:51:32,150 --> 00:51:35,290
And you don’t even want repeat
such a nice thing once again,
don't you?!

556
00:51:39,130 --> 00:51:41,730
Oh shit… Brothers!
My dear, good friends...

557
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:44,330
Let's fly, it's really time!
Or at least close this door...

558
00:51:46,110 --> 00:51:48,360
I can't stand the sight of you
any longer,

559
00:51:49,300 --> 00:51:51,260
it makes me sick.

560
00:51:56,700 --> 00:51:58,120
Farewell, my friend.