Кин-дза-дза!

561
00:52:05,630 --> 00:52:06,630
...And we’re flying.

562
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:12,390
Brake! Brake! Brake!

563
00:52:12,430 --> 00:52:16,390
How can I brake?!
You’ve drunk all our brake fluid!

564
00:52:16,420 --> 00:52:18,390
Alcoholic!

565
00:52:18,700 --> 00:52:20,410
Poor old man, he’s poisoned now.

566
00:52:21,060 --> 00:52:22,540
Turn off your antlers!

567
00:52:22,570 --> 00:52:24,010
They can’t be turned off.

568
00:52:24,040 --> 00:52:25,660
Take them off then!

569
00:52:25,690 --> 00:52:27,270
No! They're fragile.

570
00:52:29,100 --> 00:52:31,060
I think we’ve landed.

571
00:52:35,140 --> 00:52:35,850
That’s how it was the last time.

572
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:36,560
Aha...
Put on your gas mask.

573
00:52:36,730 --> 00:52:37,640
What about tsak?

574
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:39,680
No, they’ll have to do without.

575
00:52:45,070 --> 00:52:47,020
Earth!

576
00:53:10,740 --> 00:53:16,650
(Wef sings: )
On the river, on the river,
on yonder bank...

577
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,580
No... this isn’t Earth.

578
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:31,320
Hello!

579
00:53:33,030 --> 00:53:35,520
We're Patsaks
from the planet Earth.

580
00:53:35,550 --> 00:53:37,070
And you?

581
00:53:37,110 --> 00:53:39,070
This is the planet Alpha.

582
00:53:39,110 --> 00:53:41,800
Report your co-ordinates
to Ms Dekont,

583
00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:44,090
and she will transfer you
to your starting point.

584
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:46,220
Have a nice day.

585
00:53:48,290 --> 00:53:50,830
Your planet number,
if you'd be so good.

586
00:53:51,540 --> 00:53:54,030
013 in the Tenture.

587
00:53:57,750 --> 00:53:59,490
It’s somewhere here...

588
00:53:59,530 --> 00:54:00,890
Er... about this sector...

589
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:01,670
There.

590
00:54:01,710 --> 00:54:03,670
To the left of Ursa Major.

591
00:54:03,710 --> 00:54:07,630
This is not necessary.
Would you please,
hold your hands.

592
00:54:07,660 --> 00:54:10,640
Young lady, what are you
going to do with these?

593
00:54:10,670 --> 00:54:12,710
They will be placed
into the additional room
of the 1st Greenhouse.

594
00:54:12,740 --> 00:54:13,650
Earthlings, would you please...

595
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:14,510
Miss...

596
00:54:14,550 --> 00:54:15,390
...hold your hands!

597
00:54:15,430 --> 00:54:17,860
Do you really turn people
into cacti?

598
00:54:17,890 --> 00:54:18,940
Only Plukanians.

599
00:54:18,980 --> 00:54:20,980
Oh, but they're not Plukanians.
They're Hanoudians.

600
00:54:21,170 --> 00:54:25,780
This is irrelevant.
Please put on your breathing masks.

601
00:54:26,490 --> 00:54:28,980
Why? You have nice air.

602
00:54:29,010 --> 00:54:30,650
That is precisely why.

603
00:54:30,690 --> 00:54:32,250
Bah! For cryin' out loud!

604
00:54:32,290 --> 00:54:35,250
OK, Gedevan.
Calm down. Put it on.

605
00:54:37,970 --> 00:54:39,860
In the name of our planet,

606
00:54:42,220 --> 00:54:44,470
I'm asking you to let them go.

607
00:54:48,980 --> 00:54:52,100
Who decides their fate?

608
00:54:52,130 --> 00:54:54,760
Abradox. But...

609
00:54:56,420 --> 00:54:57,800
Take us to him.

610
00:54:57,840 --> 00:55:02,510
Otherwise I'll take off my mask
and start breathing.

611
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:10,200
You shouldn't worry.
Our greenhouses are
very comfortable.

612
00:55:11,020 --> 00:55:13,450
Blossoming... micro-climate...
serenity.

613
00:55:13,980 --> 00:55:16,050
One should envy them.

614
00:55:16,940 --> 00:55:20,010
Then my dear,
why do you frolic around,
here on the grass...

615
00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:21,810
...instead of sitting there
in a plant pot?

616
00:55:21,850 --> 00:55:23,640
Please watch your step.

617
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:25,680
You've already squashed
three plants.

618
00:55:25,930 --> 00:55:27,470
Friend!

619
00:55:28,650 --> 00:55:30,420
We want to ask you something...

620
00:55:30,450 --> 00:55:33,970
No need to continue. NO.

621
00:55:34,500 --> 00:55:39,880
Our proximity to the
Kin-Dza-Dza galaxy
is our greatest problem.

622
00:55:39,910 --> 00:55:42,490
These people are plagued
by yearnings and desires...

623
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:44,380
Vile desires!

624
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:50,650
To continue their lives
in the form of plants
is a blessing for them.

625
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:52,600
And for everyone else.

626
00:55:53,130 --> 00:55:58,280
Can we send for them and
ask them what is
a blessing for them and what is not?

627
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:04,370
Well if we were to give them
the possibility to make
any DECISIONS, then...

628
00:56:05,730 --> 00:56:08,680
Hey, girlie! Are you Alphians
the most wise apples here?!

629
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:13,360
Somebody told you that,
or was it your own guess, eh?

630
00:56:13,390 --> 00:56:15,660
Stop it please.
Let’s not waste time.

631
00:56:16,310 --> 00:56:19,410
You are creatures
from the Anti-Tenture,

632
00:56:19,450 --> 00:56:25,720
That means I have an obligation
to transfer you to your starting point.

633
00:56:26,070 --> 00:56:31,690
Or to send you back in time,
to the moment when you made
your fateful decision.

634
00:56:32,340 --> 00:56:34,050
Choose.

635
00:56:34,290 --> 00:56:37,130
Pardon? I didn’t get it.
To what time?

636
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:40,090
I can send you to the past...
back to Pluke.

637
00:56:52,210 --> 00:56:57,710
Friend, I have a proposition:
you transfer one man on Earth...

638
00:56:58,710 --> 00:56:59,710
...and you return another man
to the past…

639
00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:05,520
Vladimir Nikolaevich,
I won't allow you on Pluke alone.

640
00:57:09,720 --> 00:57:13,090
Listen, nunky, set it for the past.